Complications

Dear friends,

I have been wanting to write for the last few weeks. The truth is, it’s been really tough and I didn’t want to subject you to what I was going through unless things are going well. I’ve always been that way.

So we were supposed to have left the hospital round about now. Instead we were told it may still be another 20 days or so.

This is because they found that I had caught an infection at the hospital in Japan before I left. Whatever it is, it’s very resistant to antibiotics. Fortunately the antibiotics I’m taking now is working, though.

So I was told I need two surgeries, and the first one was about 10 days ago. Although pretty traumatic, the surgery went well, and they were able to remove all the tumors on my breast. But on top of the surmounting added cost, the pain and discomfort, we are starting to feel agitated.

I have all kinds of thing attached to my body, I can’t really turn when I sleep, let alone walk. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic and anxious, feeling like a prisoner in a very small cage with little sunlight. Because I’ve been practicing yoga, have learned how to calm my mind, so far I been able to manage without too much medication but I asked for anxiety medication last night.

The good news is that everyone seems happy with my recovery and I can go outside in a wheelchair. I do feel I am able to do more every day. A few days ago I made it down to dinner and joined everyone. First time since the day we got here. Today I was able to reorganize my chest of drawers.

I have been blessed with loving support from the hospital staff (One cleaning lady always says “I pray for you sweetie, day and night”, and does something like Reiki, who feels so good), other patients have been shower in me with nice get well cards. And then there is of course my loving husband who sits with me holding my hand when I am in a lot of pain or having a mild panic attack.

I thank you for bringing us here. And I am thinking of you.

With Love

Mari